All aboard the Hypo train!

[Garrdor]

In tribute to the last topic made:

I'd like to touch upon an age-old topic.

The fabled "$1,000,000" bill you find laying on the ground. The banker deposits it into your account with no questions. What do you do with this money?

Actually

I feel kindof like Dr. Evil in Austin Powers. Lets bump that up to "1,000,000,000" I think that's right. You find a one-billion dollar bill on the ground. The banker deposits it into your account, again, no questions asked.

What do you do with this money?

And don't give me some horseshit about donating it to charity, either. Hopefully I get a few bites on this one. I'd like to hear what my beloved ranters would do with that sort of power.

[Select]

I'd buy your death.


Kidding. <3

[Harlowe]

Other than spending money on family and taking care of them, along with EXTENSIVE traveling - there are two things I'd really love to create. You said "no giving it to charity" type comments, but I have a few things that I would love to do with that kind of money that would be selfish in a sense because it would make me feel good doing it and creating it. The first is probably inspired by my volunteer work at a woman's shelter, but I'd love to create a larger more "homey" environment for families in crisis. Something less crowded and peaceful for them during transition. A temporary haven for women and children leaving an abusive environment. There aren't enough of these and the ones that are around, are so over-crowded and the families have no breathing room in them. It would have job-coaching on site, grants for continued education & a quality daycare.

The second is an animal sanctuary/rehabilitation/no-kill shelter type thing. Not some big indoor institutional looking facility with just cages, but something that offered outdoor space as well as a home-like indoor environment. Something that would really aid in keeping them socialized and house-trained in order to get them back into real homes successfully and if not, it would provide a place to live out the reminder of their lives with comfort and affection. I could probably afford to bring in Mr. Dog Whisperer with that kind of cash. =)

As much as the first is probably more noble, physically I'd be spending all my time working with the animal sanctuary. That would become "my job". That is, after I used some cash traveling to every place on the planet I've wanted to see.

[Garrdor]

That was weak.

I'm sorry. I mean, that's cool - and I agree with the animal sanctuary. You'd travel... well, that's on alot of peoples minds too. You get brownie points for at least throwing that in. Now, hopefully you wouldent stay in hostels and little motels and crap when you travel and go hiking everywhere. That's just cliche as all hell.

But whatever you want, I guess.

I want to hear some honest juicy fucked up shit that people would do with that sort of money. I demand more responses, assholes.

[Embar Angylwrath]

I'm 100% with Select on this. And after I spent the $10 or so that I'd need to hire someone to off you, I'd spend the rest of the cash in ways that would make Soddom and Gomorrah blush.

[Mukik]

I would buy a brothel in aussie, see how much blackwater would charge to take out india and hold a 10,000 dollar farting contest. After that I think I would make a blog and search for the best burger in the world. more than likely its gonna be in aus with the egg/pinapple/beetroot combo with bacon.

[Harlowe]

Hey I gave an honest reply. Whether it's weak or not, well, sorry, but that's what I'd want to do. My Dad was a walking Good Samaritan and animal lover. He was constantly giving and doing things for others - even at his own expense. On the flip side, when he wasn't keeping himself busy enough, he was a classic drunken Irishman, so he's no saint, but I guess I grew up seeing the value of volunteering and helping others. I'm not going to run off to a third-world nation to do it, because I'm selfish enough NOT to want to live in shitty conditions and catch numerous parasites, but I do enjoy the volunteer work I do now and would love to actually be able to put some real money into making a difference.

Yep, weak and lame, I know, but I'm not really a very material-driven person, so I'm boring.

[Select]

The above is Harlowe when she is not PMSing. Stay tuned throughout the next four weeks and watch for the changes.

[Partha]

Changing in 4...3...2...

[Arkaron]

I'd zero my student loan debt, and Xylo's too, and probably the debt of the majority of my family. I'd pay for Ckador to finish his degree, I'd pay for Select to get her MFA, I'd send Styxus to school too, so he doesn't burn out doing construction on (admittedly beautiful) houses. I would pay for Athiyk to have a super hip apartment in NYC without shitty roomies so he could write in relative peace [Note: a number of EQ types would be on this list, these are just the ones I immediately think of]. I would get Nuffinhere away from her batshit family. Speaking of batshit families, I'd move my sister far, far away from my mother, who I'd stick in the best rehab program on the planet. Pending her return to sanity, I'd give Mom the old Victorian house she's always wanted where she could garden and play the piano until she died. I would give my friends cash to start the publishing company they're working on. I'd start a scholarship for wayward fuckups. I'd travel everywhere. I would free friends of mine from their functional, yet depressing marriages. I would stick the rest in solid investments and never work graveyard, ever again.

I suppose the more morbid side of me (hey, I did play a Necromancer for five years) considered making arrangements to ensure certain people's lives were perpetually miserable. The first to come to mind was an old boss, but it occurs to me that she's likely already dead due to her age and obesity, so the issue's taken care of anyway. I imagine I'd spend a significant portion of the day laughing at people's requests for money who had been rude to me in the past.

Arky

[Arathena]

After the round of debt blanking, I would start by funding the development of cybernetic eye replacements, just so I could get them for myself. I may also properly develop the weapon idea that I've had floating around in my mind, assuming that the first does not exhaust the billion. Either one should be worth many more billions when complete.

A small cozy apartment building somewhere way the fuck away from humanity, which I would fill up with Brazilian hermaphrodites.

Assuming I can buy the right people to get it out of Japan, a Masamune or Muramasa blade would be nice. Import some of the condemned from China to test it out on.

I'm sure I can think of many other things, but that's just the first reflexes.

[Rsak]

Not the only thing I would do, but probably one of the first would be to build a dream home.

I would find some steep hillside with a nice panoramic view and decent sunlight. The top of the hill would be the only above ground visible building and it would probably look like a concrete bunker, but it would only serve as a garage and access to stairs and elevator. The house would be multiple levels in the hillside, but the side of the hill would be large windows. A few select rooms would have access to open up for fresh air. There would be some kind of landscaping and possibly one or multiple decks for outdoor enjoyment, but it would have to be able to have a clean look when not being used. Around the windows would be solar panels.

The indoor of the house would be modern and a one level would probably be computer equipment like a server room with ventilated floors. I would shoot for around 4-5 bedrooms, one room by the windows would be a bar, and possibly one would be a swimming pool (or at the least an endless current pool).

But that is just me.

[Taxious]

Something I've always wanted to do if I had extra cash: I'd put $100 bills into envelopes and carry a bunch of the envelopes around with me. Whenever someone did something nice, even in a mediocre sense, I'd give them one of the envelopes and walk away.

I may also properly develop the weapon idea that I've had floating around in my mind

I feel like this needs a followup as I'm curious as to what your idea is.

[Harlowe]

The above is Harlowe when she is not PMSing. Stay tuned throughout the next four weeks and watch for the changes.

Are you ever NOT PMS'g chicka?

[Select]

I suppose the more morbid side of me (hey, I did play a Necromancer for five years) considered making arrangements to ensure certain people's lives were perpetually miserable. The first to come to mind was an old boss, but it occurs to me that she's likely already dead due to her age and obesity, so the issue's taken care of anyway. I imagine I'd spend a significant portion of the day laughing at people's requests for money who had been rude to me in the past.

That came to mind too.

[Klast Brell]

I’m sure many of us have done lottery fantasizing a few times in our lives.

First thing I would do is get a good accountant / financial planner. Then a good lawyer. All from large well established firms used to dealing with large accounts. People are going to come out of the woodwork trying to get a piece of my money. I need people to help me stay protected from scammers and vultures.

Next I would pay off all my debt.

Then all the debt of my parents, my wife’s parents and my sister and sister in law.

Next divide my money in half. Half is split in to income generating trusts for my family. The other half for me. If the money is blown right away I’ll be broke and having to sell my mansion and nice cars in a year or 2. Better to live comfortably for the rest of my life, than to live fabulously for only a few years.

If I felt like farting money away for revenge I have a small list of people that I might want to target. Though I would probably have to hire private investigators to even find those people from my past.

Gary the kid who broke my rib in 6th grade. Would get repaid in kind. Probably have to hire a mafia goon or something.

Monica the woman who cost me a good job in 1992 would have every piece of dirt in her past dug up and turned over to her current employer.

Nick the dick landlord who gave me a bad rental reference in 1996 would get it next. I would bribe the city inspectors to go over every property of his with a fine tooth comb. Then I would pay off someone in the IRS to make sure he was audited with extreme prejudice.

But I’m not big on revenge and I don’t really see why I would spend more money on people who already cost me in the past.

[Select]

Harlowe, every week that isn't the one week a month when the irritation from my hormones is greater than the irritation of steroids and life situations.

[Garrdor]

I would buy a brothel in aussie, see how much blackwater would charge to take out india and hold a 10,000 dollar farting contest. After that I think I would make a blog and search for the best burger in the world. more than likely its gonna be in aus with the egg/pinapple/beetroot combo with bacon.

That's the fucking spirit!

[Harlowe]

I don't know if I am envious of those that can or relieved I can't - but I can't imagine plotting revenge on anyone. I'd be so riddled with guilt and miserable because I would be certain I was in for a huge bad karma payback. I'd give myself stomach ulcers just worrying about it.

[Arathena]

I don't know if I am envious of those that can or relieved I can't - but I can't imagine plotting revenge on anyone. I'd be so riddled with guilt and miserable because I would be certain I was in for a huge bad karma payback. I'd give myself stomach ulcers just worrying about it.

Of the two people I hate enough to want revenge on, the law caught up to one way before anything I could do to him could, and the other... the only way I could execute him is personally. It's no longer worth the consequences... Even if I could buy off the DA to bury it.