Morality and Ethics can be quite interesting. I think most people have a moral compass that is pointed one way while others are pointed in a different direction. Who's really right? fucked if I know, and frankly I think it comes down to respect of your self, then your significant other. Sure theres no feeling like mowin some fresh grass, but then reality strikes on what you did and is the price of your actions worth it?
I'm curious about everyone's personal views on relationships.
I expect to be single when I die and don't see that as a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, I love the bf and all that, but I usually have the view "I'll be lucky if this lasts a couple years" vs "this is the person I'll spend the rest of my life with."
For a lot of people, being single is a nightmare and they get into relationships more out of utility than love.
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Not surprising - you're indoctrinated from an early age on the virtues of sharing your life with someone, forget the whole 'mating instinct' thing.
Now, myself, I CAN live alone or with everyone on the outside....but the other way makes me feel a hell of a lot better.
Well, it’s the Super-Monroe Doctrine: “Get off our oil, people who dress funny!” - M. Bouffant
"You're a bad captain, Zarde. People like you only learn by being touched, and hard. And you will greatly disapprove of where these men put their hands." - M. Vanderbeam.
I feel I don't need another person to make me whole (like some do), but when I find a person that helps me be more of me, well, you tend to gravitate to those people and want to spend time with them.
It probably hasn't happened to you yet Tax. I remember being about your age, and thinking I was going to be single all my life, and looking forward to it. I was a serial monogamist, hooking up with a girl for a few innings, then parachuting out. Until I met my wife. I felt more alive with her than with anyone else I had ever met. I never loved somone more deeply that I did her. (I use the past tense because, well.. nevermind)
Anyway, when you meet someone that helps you grow as a person, helps you see parts of yourself that you really like and want to see more of, you'll start thinking about spending a lifetime with that person. It's really strange, but I've found that you can't help who you love, its almost as undeniable as tides and gravity.
You've got a good heart Tax, and I'm sure your BF sees that in you. When you meet someone that helps you see that in yourself, you won't be able to leave them.
Correction Mr. President, I DID build this, and please give Lurker a hug, we wouldn't want to damage his self-esteem.
Personally I've been with people who were bad for me, who made me feel small and insignificant and like I didn't matter. We tend to not leave as soon as we should because it's still hard, however it takes a lot of misses to hit a home run when it comes to love and spending your life with the right person. B/F and I have been living together over 18 months now, and it goes well. It's not perfect, theres things I wish he'd do differently and things I KNOW he wishes I did differently, but all in all I feel respected, and like an equal in the relationship, and I love him for all his problems and in spite of them he's a wonderful man (and he adores my kids, and doesn't just pretend to like them). It's very important to be an equal in a relationship as well. If you're always the good guy, or the bad guy, then there's a problem. Someone will love you for all your great qualities and in spite of your bad ones, and you'll feel like it IS a good fit, not just a decent relationship !
Let's say I promise to hand you a candybar, but instead I whip out my wang and slap you in the face with it. That would make me a pretty big asshole, and I doubt very many people would say "oh gee, it's just human nature".
If you say you're going to be faithful, then be faithful. Otherwise, don't say it. Sex is one of those things that takes a lot of fucking time to do, too, it gives you plenty of time to think about what you're doing and plenty of time to stop doing it. Maybe if every woman came with Amazon's 1-click purchase button I would cheat more, but that's not how it works.
The first serious relationship I was ever in, my girlfriend slept with another dude before she slept with me, and we had been dating a year. That left a pretty scathing impact on me. I will never, ever do that to another person. I won't even get with girls who have boyfriends.
Thorg Frostfist
60th Season Shaman
Lodge of the Dragon's Claw
**Retired**
Well, it’s the Super-Monroe Doctrine: “Get off our oil, people who dress funny!” - M. Bouffant
"You're a bad captain, Zarde. People like you only learn by being touched, and hard. And you will greatly disapprove of where these men put their hands." - M. Vanderbeam.