Hulk Hogan takes off his Championship Belt

[Garrdor]

... and his pants fell down around his ankles. (NSFW)

Some of my earliest memories in life were of Hulk Hogan. I used to call him "Hoke Hogan", as I knew about him even before I could read or write or know any better. I watched him grope men beat the shit out of dudes all day long. I lived through Hulkamania and it was probably the best era ever. I watched all of his movie appearances - especially the ones where he was the lead/star. I remember seeing Gremlins 2, and all I could say about the movie is that "HOKE HOGAN WAS IN IT THAT ONE PART OH MY GOD THAT MOVIE RULED"

In schoolyard debates, Hoke Hogan could easily best anyone. I also had a deep admiration for his stature and goatee. He resembled a blonde-haired version of my own father. Tall and muscle-clad. A real manly badass, but kid-friendly.

I slept with one of these:




He was an athlete and a Real American hero. Devoted father and family man of many years. No matter what life threw at him he.... and you know...

and uhhh....

ummm....










I JUST WATCHED SOME WOMAN SUCK HULK HOGANS COCK AND HEARD HIS PLEASURE NOISES AND NOW IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF BYE BYE BRELL RANTS I HATE YOU ALL

[Garrdor]

[Ddrak]

I'm not seeing why anyone would think Hulk was a virgin?

Dd

[Garrdor]

REAL AMERICAN HEROES NEVER HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS OUT OF WEDLOCK.

BUT AFTER REVIEWING THE LYRICS FROM HIS 1995 HIT ALBUM, I REALIZE WE'VE ALL BEEN HAD. HE'S A STUPID MALE PIG WHO HUNTS AMERICAS BEACHES FOR EASY WOMEN, AS PROVIDED IN THE LYRICS OF "BEACH PATROL". AT FIRST I THOUGHT THIS SONG WAS ABOUT HOGAN BEING A PROTECTOR OF WOMEN ALONG THE GREAT COASTS OF THIS COUNTRY. I WILL NEVER MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN. AS HE HAS CLAIMED THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF MANY CHILDREN AND ADULT MALES, IT IS CLEAR HE WISHES TO STAKE HIS CLAIM ON THE FEMALE POPULATION THROUGH LEWD AND UNMARRIED SEX ACTS.

BEACH PATROL

I was walking down the beach looking for some action,
Had my radio set on a rappin' rock station.
Saw a girl drowning, sticking situations.
She wanted me to give her mouth-to-mouth recessitation. (he takes advantage of a drowning woman. i want to die)

Chorus: We are the beach patrol. We want to party, party, party.
We are the beach patrol. We want to party, party, party.

We were cruising down the beach checking out the action,
Had my radio rocking to a heavy metal station.
Putting on some shades, trying to catch some rays,
When a caught the life guard messing with my babe.

Chorus: Woop, there it is, woop, there it is. You better watch out 'cause here comes my boyfriend.
Pump it up, pump it up, pump up the base. Here he comes!

[Xican]

Wait, so you're telling me there's a video out there of him getting a hummer? And you didn't post the link? Hulk Hogan is not the person whom I've lost faith in here today, Garrdor.

[Ddrak]

?? The first link in Garr's post takes you right to it. Gawker's being kinda brave hosting it too.

Dd

[Freecare Spiritwise]

With how badly these guys get beaten up in the ring, they deserve to blow off a little steam. Shit, how many times has he been hit by a chair while the ref was looking the other way? So jeez, let the dude enjoy a blowjob.

[Xican]

The site is blocked for me, for some reason. I retract my previous statement, though. Well done, sir!

[Garrdor]

you mock my pain

[Alluveal]

I saw this. Hulk is more hung than I ever imagined. Guess he's a grower, not a shower.

[Freecare Spiritwise]

"Hung Hogan"

[calleagh]

I saw this. Hulk is more hung than I ever imagined. Guess he's a grower, not a shower.

you and me both girl. i woulda thought he was 5" tops.

[Taxious]

With his build, I would have laid down some money on him being 5"-6" as well. Wow.

[Massterloo]

Roids shrinks testicals, not dicks.