Memorable Quotes File

[Kristinae Stormrider]

Greetings!

These quotes were taken from the old Brell Rants Hall of Flame, and are being reposted here for your enjoyment.

-Kristinae

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Okay....THIS IS NOT WHO I AM IN REAL LIFE! I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS GAME , THIS BEING THE REASON I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY! IF YOU ACTUALLY GOT TO KNOW ME OUTSIDE OF EQ YOU WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE A BETTER IDEA OF HOW INTELLIGENT I AM!
--Brainfuzz, 5/23/02.

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ROFL you are just a dumb hurtet baby Vittorio.
go and drink milk from a breast, and when you your beard start growing you can talk to me again =)
have a nice day
---Namib, 5/19/02

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this was my last post to this issue, go and lick the spit from people that have no place in their ass for you =)
--Namib, 5/20/02

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P.S. Being on the chess team doesnt show what kind of person u are. u arent a dork just because u play chess. so stfu up about not being laid cuz ur on the chess team im sick of hearing that kind of bull shit from u fuk tards that say this kind of shit to people (hint: its getting on my nerves and pissing me off)
--Kaineos, 5/28/02

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ps that was fucking classic when you said you rented [Star Wars] twice but couldn't get past those little word thingys in the intro. In-fucking-credible.

pss I hope your head falls off

--Walrus (to Poinsus), 5/22/02

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Hope you got my email, wether you did or not in about 5 hours from now if you havent taken that info about me off the page, we will be pressing charges on copywrite infringement on your behalf, because you claim your EX page as copy writed, but i guess your stupid enough not to realize that its not and you have no so called "paddent" on your design and code. This is a National Major Law and I WILL FOLLOW TROUGH WITH THIS AND SUE YOUR ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--AirMel, to and quoted by Miriamele, 4/19/02

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please stick sharp objects into your eyes

--Nillon, 3/30/02

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Before we turn this into a thread about fucking poor innocent cows...Why don't you tell us what it is like Poinsus? Or any of hte many farm animals we are all sure you have fucked? Based on that we can pretend to have fucked one to make you feel less like a social outcast than the dumb animal fucker you are See how nice we are?

--Maliken/Tandaria, 5/29/02

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So what I can't spell to good..and sometimes I don't bother making it look pretty...I never clamied to be a Prefectionist

--selenas DeWinter, 5/30/02

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Metric assloads of fun

--Some assling, 5/22/02

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WTF! Bring it on, chicken.

I'm your huckleberry

--Alluveal, 6/3/02

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im ugly and stupid and I should tie my weewee up to the railroad tracks.

--Garrdor, 5/27/02

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see what you can avoid creating when you swallow ?

--Ariannda (about Aegeras), 6/3/02

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And THIS is why I don't like big boobies. They kill! Just something that can easily fit mostly in the hand, easy to play with....not something that'll suffocate me and make me die in a sea of fleshy breastitude!

--Awea, 2/9/02

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So please keep my name and my REP OUT YOUR MOUTH MINUTE!!
--Jawbreakker, 7/18/02

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Grammar. When you don't spellcheck or use proper sentence structure, you're posting with Hitler.

--Nillon, date unknown

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I'm breaking my own rule and posting on Nyquil.
-- Alannia

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The only comfort I take from this thread, is the fact that Arianna has no qualm with swallowing.

-- Xican TempestWolf

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coming soon from your nearest "I think everything's funny enough to email to you" fuckhead

--NeoNinja37

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Nillon is my twink.

--Kruunch, 6-11-02

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I am NOT sucking Ranger choad. Sorry.

--someone accused me of saying this.

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Now I know where smurfs come from

--Nadia, in reference to Minute having sex with a dark elf!

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Can you retire from posting on the boards too?

--Miriamele

Just as soon as you retire from breathing.

--Timov

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More screaming orgasms than you will be able to count and a vagina full of halfling manchowder..

--Relbeek denied saying this in response to Wende asking, "What's in it for me?"

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The day I see Miss Piggy dress Ernie up in a fuzzy bear suit, strap him down on top of Oscar's trashcan and probe him with a 12" dildo is the day I'll agree with the AFA.

--Talaena

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I hope one of your hydraulic lines springs a leek and sprays you upon the face like man chowdah of death.

--Windance

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Bigphatliar, explain again how you evolved from a garbage can full of used condoms.

--Masterrloo


_How I Evolved From A Garbage Can Full Of Condoms_
(I'd like to dedicate this poem to my good friend and confidant, Massterrloo)
"In the dark and stentious void,
I found myself alive
This nasty, fugly, dumpster truck
was really a FUCKING dive;
I struggled amidst my fellow slime
amidst the world's decay
motivating myself by truthful words
that Massterrlo is FUCKING GAY
I twist and struggle in my rubber corpse
slung out from a high school prom
Knowing dam sure Massterrlo doesn't even know
Where the fuck do rubbers come from.
I ask my fellow sperm "Hey Man,
You spot any Massterrlo spoo?"
They laugh like shit cause there no chance
HIS loins create any goo
So I move on, finally to a pond
Jump in, nature begins
To evolve me out of my present form
Like that on Massterrlo's chin
I grow and grow, I'm finally there!
I'm now OH Rant-Board worthy
Among the ranks of fellow members
My peers, my friends, my clergy
And so is this my lifelong tale
Thank God its over, PHEW !
I leave you all with these few thoughts
and Massterrlo and big FUCK YOU.

--BigPhatLiar in response.

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Relbeek fuck you, just because you dont believe me doesnt make me a liar, i may have done some bad things in the past but i do not sin.

--Shinmu

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Wow, the whole idea just made you spew uncontrolled ezcodes!

--Blooh

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Shut up and keep sucking.

--Relbeek (to Raylen), 8/27/02

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I just wish I coulda seen the "caught with your dick in the neighbors cat" look on his face when he page 8'd

--Thornwalker (about Morsereg)

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No, this is dead serious. Everyone here is so quick to blame the person who plays the character, that they totally ignore the fact that sometimes when the character does something wrong it could be their cat, or their little brother, or germs, or whatever.

One time, I was playing the game and I accidentally spilled some hot bean with bacon soup in my lap. This caused me to go into some sort of weird siezure, and my hands went spasming all over my keyboard.

Next thing I know, BLAMMO! One of my EQ characters shot the Pope IRL.

--Bangzoom,. 9/20/02

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I vow to help any cleric going after rage against you, and should you get the heart i'll kite the fucking turn in mob forever, until you you get distracted by something shiny next to your computer and kill yourself by sticking a fork in the toaster to get the bread out. I hate you.

--Infamous, on the last Ragefire rant before the revamp of the quest

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I was, in fact, sucking some serious dick as well.

--Reptilia

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First : Minute was you on the raid ? no.
where you on a alt ? maby but i doubt it.
So minure would you SHUT THE FUCK UP, i am tired of your endless shit, yer a fucking moron, how the hell can you become sutch a stuckup, snobbish, fucking moron. you are nothing but the trash the everyday person steps on on the ground.
Moron

Second : yes i know i did the freaking loot wrong but at least get it right when you quote it : if 2 scales drops i claim 1, if 1 drop i get 3 rolls in it, Book claimed by xxx, if no book and cof drops he have xxx 3 rolls in the cloak.
and reason for me in the scale .. for a friend bard, i wont make a freaking raid to claim a 10K item and sell it sigh, i can get loot of better mobs the naggy.

Third : Shut the fuck up Minute.

Fourth : Zenith had NOTHING to do with this, i was only from zenith there.

Fifth : and Sahagal geez yer a moron, first this isnt a rage rant, second we engaged first and we got the kill, and i didnt claim that shit, all i got was heart.

Sixth : Brenstak no it wasnt me never seen a CoF drop of Rage naggy or eny other dragon.

Seventh : why no raiding with me yer fucking little gnome (minute), pulled off some nice raids like Royals, pog, poh, and some more.
men hvad fanden du er stadig en lille lort some ingen gider at taenke pa du er en idiot et fjols, rend mig din lille gnom.
(oh yeah plain old danish translate joka, moron)

Think that rounds all up, and once agin FUCK YOU MINUTE.

--Yenen, 10/29/02

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No Vendregha, it's not hate. I get off on stupidity. Every time I read one of your posts, the orgasm I have blows my socks clear across the room.

--Jadelin Iceheart, 12/14/02

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Hi. I'm Tim Mitchell, and I represent the Keebler Cookie Company.

I'd like to take this opportunity to inform you that our cookies cause cancer.

Not your average few-sessions-of-chemo-and-you-might-get-over-it cancer, either. I'm talking stomach-eating, bowel-rotting, urethra-digesting cancer. The kind you'd rather talk to Goodeyes than have.

While I'm on the subject, Goodeyes is a pedophile IRL.

Sue me, kidfucker.

Tim Mitchell
Professional Standup Comedian
Satiric Intent Obvious

--Bangzoom, 12/18/02

[Ofjnir]

GreygorMacGreghor

actually .. it is much funnier like this

reporter: Axh WTF! are you ghey?
Quote:
Yah thats right..Fuck those lazy ass fuckers

reporter: How do you feel about incest?
Quote:
My mom asks me what I want, so I was in the mood for something basic...with extra oil and vinegar

reporter: Excactly what do you mean by basic? oil and vinegar?..explain please
Quote:
she coms home says she got just enough oil and vinegar, how I like it. She goes into her room, pull my sandwich

reporter: Ah ..so this is your sexual code you and your mother use then..what happens after she pulls your sandwich?
Quote:
what the fuck happens?

reporter: oh um yeah sorry i meant ..what the fuck happens next?
Quote:
The sandwich comes flying out of the wrapping and goes all over the fucking place

reporter: chuckles ah so you wrap your willy thats good...what was going through your mind when this happened? how did you feel?
Quote:
scared out of my fucking mind cause thats never happend before

reporter: what did you do then...was she upset?
Quote:
It was just some freaky shit that caused a huge mess I cleaned up

reporter: strange little deviant arent ya..well am almost afraid to ask ..what do you do after all that fun?
Quote:
I went over to my moms new Banzai tree and rubbed that little budhist guy


viewtopic.php?t=177&start=20
Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2002 10:31 pm

[Ofjnir]

Emetibu
Bored At Work


Joined: 20 Dec 2002
Posts: 119
Location: California for now
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2003 10:50 am

Ok I confess - I got a huge smile, a quickened pulse, heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest and a major loss of breath.

But then I realized it was the horse and not you and then it all changed into that huge smirk

Ahhh fantasies - they're not just for breakfast anymore!!


viewtopic.php?t=767&start=0

[Relbeek Einre]

I guess it's Debbie's time of the month. Where the moon is high, the alchohol runs swift, and Debbie turns into the psychotic PMS were-beer.
-- Karjia, 4/18/03

[Relbeek Einre]

A Giant Flaming Wand of Cock-Knocking is definitely monk loot. Knocking cocks is a class-defining skill!

--Leewei, 4/22/03

[Mystical Ogre]

bigphatliar, nomination courtesy of Croinc.
Thread: Elderealms <sigh> your a dick

Saevrok wrote:
But what I know is this;

Saevrok wrote:
Nobody here cares.

Yes, just not in the way you want us to. Like the Nirvana song says, "Somthin Stoopid, ENTERTAIN US!"
Saevrok wrote:
No one here thinks twice about the ramifications of their actions.

Only if they want that 20% or so demographic that lets their in-game assocations be influenced by open ended, totally bullshit forums like this. Life is, really, just a fantasy after all.
Saevrok wrote:
Not many of you would recognize a unique thought if it walked up and punched you in the face.

How do you catch a unique thought? Unique up on it.
Saevrok wrote:
Most of you will only skim through this stupidly long post and come to a halfwitted conclusion.

Usually I only read the subject line.
Saevrok wrote:
I know that the rest will try and argue with me regardless what I say.

You fucking better believe it bitch.
Saevrok wrote:
And I know the Clique will derail this as quickly as they can.

Which particular clique you talking about? We have several. They are:
1. The Anal Retentive Bullshit Clique: These are people that are serious about they're arguing, but don't take it outside the boards. (Several members - Generally Mentally Stable and have real lives).
2. The Detailed Analysis Reality Clique: These are people that are serious about they're arguing, and let it influence their behavior in the game, and in real life. (Several members- Generally Unstable and marked by few out-of-game relations).
3. The DUI "Debating Under the Influence" Clique: These are people that get take drugs, or get very drunk, and say whatever they feel like. ( This Clique may enhance membership if mixed with other cliques. Do not operate heavy machinery while in this clique.)
4. The NeverEnding Newbie Handle Clique (Amateur Level): These are individuals that constantly make new accounts in attempt to mask the trail to the original person, thereby giving them some anonymity protection. (About 1 out of 5 posters. Technique usually works unless Admins are targeted because these posters use the same IP address.)
5. The NeverEnding Newbie Handle Clique (Advanced Level): Same as #4 but smart enough to spoof their IP or bounce of others. (Some members - difficulty level is higher).
6. The NeverEnding Newbie Handle Clique (Professional Level): Same as #5 except they grab a poster's IP and use it as a "Patsy". (very few members - requires intelligence).
7. The I Don't Give A Shit Anonymous Clique: These posters use one anonymous handle and stick with it. They are very careful to always worship and buy gifts for admins so their IPs are not revealed to friends and family. Gifts of money, chocolate, or sexual favors are often used to protect members of #7.
8. The CASUAL Onlooker Clique: These are individuals that occasionally spot-read rants with the same attitude of picking up a National Enquirer. They look for the alien pictures and move on. These members tend to have a firm grim on reality.
9. THE POWERTRIPPER Clique: Posters who thrive only to satiate their ego. This is one of our more popular Cliques and features T-shirts, Hats, Engraved Cock-Bolts, and Body Tattoos saying "I FUCKED (Insert Name Here) in Brell Rants and I'm Dam Proud Of it!". For an extra $20.00, they can be signed by a board Admin.
10. The "Sleepless In Seattle" Clique: These people are just trying to get to fucking sleep so give them a break, ok? Jesus Christ.
11. "I Like To Hear Myself Speak" Clique: These people simply look for an opporunity to develop badly needed writing skills so they can pass their 9th grade English class.
12. The "I Just Can't Let It Go" Clique: Members of this clique are usually baited into Rants by a friend, family member or loved one, for the first time in their lives. Unable to properly understand the natures of the replies, they simply overload their brain cells and start replying ceaselessy in a compulsive attempt to be the final one to close out the argument. People with this disease are often found in: Politics, Law, Military, Police, Computer Fields, and smelly-armpit-infested backroom AD&D sessions at local hobby stores. Approach this Clique with caution due to its high suicide rate.
13. The "I don't participate in rants. No really I don't" Clique: This group is the forums Hippocrite group. They are daily readers, and boast to themselves and the world around them, that they don't do Rants. However, this clique is marked by a substantial lack of will power due to the fact that they are easily set on the offensive when subject material arises pertaining to themselves or their friends, and begin posting almost immediately.
and finally,
14. The Minute Manaslayer Clique: These people are mostly women who enjoy being dressed in black leather, having chains put around their breasts, hoisted to the ceiling just enough to stand on their cute little tippy toes, and slapped repeatedly with cat-o-nine tails.

PEACE OUT, BIATCHES.
BPL

[Relbeek Einre]

I have no problem acknowledging all of us posting here (including myself) have the self-control of a coked up teenage boy with ADD.

--Harlowe, 6/13/03

[Relbeek Einre]

Wow , how hard is it to play an ench , not that hard , this guy needs a clue , why dont they retire their main and get uber gear for an alt , better off.

You can begin to use periods anytime now. Fuck, it's hard not being a grammar nazi when you see Down Syndrome-induced, language-mutilation like this.

--Muzukh_The_Depraved, 11/18/03

[Mystical Ogre]

The only way EoD got close to Ensh was in a dictionary.

-Quote by Ddrak, nominated by Ehron.

Cleptow wrote:
If we had gone the PoP route yes there would have been compition for mobs with Ensh without a doubt.

What the mother of fuck is this shit? Get the fuck off of my internet.

-Quote by OMG ICKHOR, nominated by Croinc.

Just shut up and get the fuck out.

Also that was LoH not EoD einstine

Also note where I said former guild, "einstine"

Sorry if I'm a little rusty, haven't talked to anyone who's conversation basically comes accross as "HURRRRR HURRRRR" in a while.

-Quote by OMG ICKHOR, nominated by Emetibu.

[Mystical Ogre]

Ddrak, Lurker, and Relbeek smell blood in the water. And let me tell you, Rsak, it's you, chum.

-Quote by Eidolon, nominated by Lurker.

[Mystical Ogre]

God has this thing about symmetry. Seriously. Two boobs for two hands. Two ass cheeks for two feet. But when it comes to the male genitalia, for some reason things go whacky.

I mean, yeah we have two balls, but I dont need both hands to hold 'em. But at the same time, I have one dong and two hands. One hand is going to waste. Why not two dongs and one ball for each? Then I could bukake the world, watching with two eyes, smelling with two nostrils, and hearing the screams of joy with two ears.

Unfortunately, I could only smile with one mouth, which brings up another quandry....

-Quote by ZanypherCocoapuffs, nominated by Croinc.

[Relbeek Einre]

"That's as beautiful as a dewy red rose on a spring morning with a butterfly on it and the butterfly is making me a sandwich."

--Bangzoom, 2/19/04

[Mystical Ogre]

Image posted by Hairpull, nominated by Garrdor.

[Mystical Ogre]

From the Iliad, book 7, line 110 we see:

ταύτης ἀφροσύνης: ἀνὰ δὲ σχέο κηδόμενός περ,
μηδ' ἔθελ'+ ἐξ ἔριδος*+ σεῦ ἀμείνονι φωτὶ μάχεσθαι+
Ἕκτορι Πριαμίδῃ, τόν τε στυγέουσι καὶ ἄλλοι.
καὶ δ' Ἀχιλεὺς τούτῳ γε μάχῃ ἔνι κυδιανείρῃ
ἔρριγ' ἀντιβολῆσαι, ὅ περ σέο πολλὸν ἀμείνων*.

(Note, you'll need the New Athena font to see all the characters)

This translates as:

Hold back, for all thy grief, and be not minded in rivalry to fight with one better than thou, even with Hector, son of Priam, of whom others besides thee are adread. Even Achilles shuddereth to meet this man in battle, where men win glory; and he is fucking ripped.

-Quote by Ddrak, nominated by Arkaron.

[Relbeek Einre]

please stop calling me these silly little names. I am certainly not a cocksucking whore, at least no more then mozart was somebody who "liked music" I have been far beyond the promised land. I have done a headstand in a bucket of jizz, I have bodysurfed on a veritable sea of penis's, in fact if you cut me, I bleed pure sperm (and tanqueray) I am so gay I could walk up to Burz in the san fran pride parade and comment on his neon green speedos while he nervously whispers "get the fuck away from me man I am doing things at my own pace, if anybody see's us I am instantly outed" I am to felatio what fire was to mankind, I am an innovator, I am an improvisor I am a mover I am a shaker but I am never ever a spitter. I am so far beyond your little idea of what a dick sucking whore is that its not even funny, I easily transcend your limited perceptions of queerness.
While your daddy was tying you to a fire hydrant with a sign that read "$1 a blow" and you were barely pulling in enough chode to buy yourself the cofee and jerky treats you needed to survive, I was disguising my ass as a ranch-style bungalo and the family of 8 that lived inside of it were unwittingly paying my way through college. You are an ameteur at best, please dont waste my time with your narrow views.

--Jooknboots, 8/22/2004

[Relbeek Einre]

Do not confuse the right of free speech and the right to complain.

--Rsak, 1/15/05

[Relbeek Einre]

Legion's List of why EQ is cooler than real life:

1.) All the girls at my junior high school get hot and bothered when I talk about how I'm 10k unbuffed. They shout 'you're the man' when I walk down the halls.

2.) Nobody invites me to any RL parties, but that doesn't matter because I am Time geared. Bow down bitches!

3.) Mom keeps telling me to get a job. Jobs are for fags. That supervisor at McDonald's wouldn't last 10 seconds in Crushbone.

4.) The kids at school kick my ass every day. But they all suck my virtual penis if they want to app to my uber guild ! Bow down bitches !

5.) EQ gives me the respect I deserve. Show me respect you fags, or I'll /duel your ass and none of the wood elf chicks will cyber you anymore.

6.) I'm 17 and dad still won't buy me a car. Damn he's pussy-whipped. Someday when I get a girlfriend dad will see what a tool he is and beg me for a Windblade.

7.) I'm a barely-post-pubescent 300 pound pimply-faced homophobic slob in RL who has a zero percent chance of ever tasting success in real ife and I know it. But in EQ I am tha man!

8.) Real life is for fags. Someday that preppie asshole down the street (the one who drives a BMW and dates that chick that who like Uma Thurman) is gonna BEG to be in my uber guild. Don't fuck with me and my internet buddies if you ever want to see the endgame.

--Freecare, 1/31/05

[Relbeek Einre]

this is what happens when dumbasses decide to play DeleteyourselfQuest

--EQLizard, 5/31/05

[Relbeek Einre]

When liberals take over first thing we will do is make your kids go to gay school.

--Klast, 7/7/05

[Ddrak]

But then, I've always been safe in my internet sexuality. So, I guess when I was 10, it was seeing my neighbour every day coming home from work at the steel mill that did it to me. He would pull up in his Mustang convertible, blasting "Dancing Queen" and wearing that tight white tanktop, streaked with sweat over his chisled body. Every day, I would just sit out on the porch and wait for him to come home, and hopefully he'd smile at me and we'd have a few brief words, that usually left me with butterflies in my stomach. It wasn't long after that I started writing him elaborate love letters, signing them with my pre-pubescent love drippings, which were usually produced by seeing how many fingers I could squeeze into my own tiny virgin rectum, often left dry due to my own youthful inexperience. Unfortunately, it wasn't until I was 13 that our love affair was finally consumated in a beautiful, passionate meeting behind a dumpster at a highway Denny's where Emilio took me savagely, before leaving my weary body raw and passed out in a puddle of our own love for one another.

I can't believe Hallmark turned down my application...

--Xican, 10/30/06